Situating emotion regulation in autism and ADHD through neurodivergent adolescents' perspectives.

Accounts of emotional dysregulation in autism and ADHD are typically based on external adult observations anchored in neurotypical notions of appropriate emotional responses1. These often fail to account for neurodivergent people's efforts to regulate in the context of the upsetting experiences they face, and to explore how neurodivergent young people manage emotional burden or find effective strategies to reduce distress and increase resilience. We interviewed 57 adolescents (11-15 years; 19 females) with diagnoses of ADHD (n=24), autism (n=21) or both (n=12), about their experience of upsetting events using a codesigned semi-structured interview schedule. We analysed data using reflexive thematic analysis which generated shared themes with diagnostic nuances. Three themes were found: (1) What helps prevent experiences from becoming upsetting, (2) Managing emotional responses during periods of upset and (3) Leveraging own strengths. Participants highlighted the importance of consistent, neurodivergent-affirming environments, flexible supports, and being genuinely accepted. Autonomy in choosing self-regulation strategies, co-regulation and expressing distress without stigma were key to emotional wellbeing. These findings underscore the value of stable, trusting relationships and the need for predictable routines. Results offer actionable insights for educators, caregivers, and professionals aiming to foster inclusive, emotionally supportive environments for neurodivergent youth.