"Little by little, I started feeling I am unable to handle my child alone" - Lived experiences of mothers with postpartum depression and anxiety.

Background: Anxiety and depression during the postpartum period can have a significant impact on mothers' perceived sense of responsive caregiving, causing considerable distress. This association may be affected by mothers' perception about social support. In the context of low-and-middle-income countries where prevalence rates of maternal mental illnesses are high and access to health care services is limited, informal supports become more relevant. Aim: The study aims to understand the lived experience of mothers who had postpartum depression or anxiety and their perceived distress related to infant care giving. It also explores the role of social support in the motherhood experience. Methods: Six mothers with postpartum depression or anxiety were interviewed to understand their experience of postpartum depression and/or anxiety and their perceptions about social support. The interviews were analyzed using a reflexive thematic analysis approach. Results: The thematic analysis revealed four themes, namely, (a) uncertainty and helplessness, (b) misattunement with the immediate family, (c) personal strength rooted in the family support system, and (d) other means of coping. Mothers with postpartum anxiety and depression can have emotional, informational, and tangible social support needs in the context of uncertainty and helplessness, which are associated with different challenges and barriers for infant care in the Indian context. Conclusion: Support from family members is viewed as a pillar of comfort and recovery for the mothers. At the same time, if it is not adequately attuned to the needs of the mother, it can become a major source of distress.